Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Purpose Development: Transform Yourself From Victim to Creator

You are given many opportunities in life to choose to be a victim or to be a creator. When you choose to be a victim, the world is a cold and harsh place. "They" did things to you which caused all of your pain and suffering. "They" are wrong and bad, and life is rotten as long as "they" are around. "They" might be one or more individuals in your family or community. It might be the terrible politicians or your boss or the evil cabal of the power elite that rules the world. Or you may blame yourself for all your problems, thus internalizing your victimization. The essence is that victims feel a need to blame someone for all their problems, whether it is themselves or others, because that someone is ruining their lives and world. And the truth is, your life is likely to stay that way as long as you feel a need to blame and make yourself or others wrong.

Those who choose to be creators look at life quite differently. They know that there are powerful individuals and groups who might like to control their lives, but they don't let this get in the way. They know that they have their weaknesses, yet they don't blame themselves when they fail. Creators feel no need to blame anyone as they know that whatever happens, they have choice in the matter. When Gandhi and Martin Luther King, Jr. were put behind bars, they used that opportunity to meditate and pray, to write letters and books, and to inspire their communities to stand up and make a difference in the world. They prayed not only for themselves and their supporters, but even for those who jailed them and despised their work. They were unstoppable, powerful creators who continued to have a very high quality of life until the day they died.

Victims relish in anger, resentment, revenge, and other emotions and behaviors that cause others – and for some even themselves – to feel like victims, too. Creators consciously choose love, inspiration, empowerment, and other qualities which inspire not only themselves, but all around them to continually create the lives and world they want to live in. Victims and creators live in the same physical world and deal with many of the same physical realities, yet their experience of this reality is worlds apart. From the perspective of quality of life, they hardly live in the same world. Yet whether they know it or not, both victim and creator always have choice in each moment to determine the direction of their lives through what they choose to do with what they are given.
In reality, all of us play the victim and all of us play the creator at various points in our lives. Yet few people realize just how much choice we have in which role we play at any given time. One person, on losing a job or a special relationship, may feel as if it is the end of the world and sink into terrible suffering for months, years, or even a lifetime. Another with the same experience may choose to experience the grief of loss fully, yet in a relatively short amount of time move on to be a powerful creative force in their life. In every moment and every circumstance we can choose to be that creative force in our lives and world.

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